Spring Break '98 & the D00D N00D

I've never really had a balls out Spring Break in Cancun or anything and I still havent, but this years was pretty fun because at least a few out of the ordinary things happened. First and foremost, I started the whole ordeal by hauling Bart way out into Brooklyn to sip Purple Drank with some of my favorite fucking females. Drank was drunk, blunts were smoked, I was left alone with a pie and I destroyed it...hell, we even played Jenga while watching Fern Gully! It was a good ass time and my love for Sarina and Fran and Catherine only continues to grow, even getting lost driving around with SaraBeth was a good time. The San Francisco boys were in town and I wanted them to come out to that but its all good cos I spent the next four days with them. If you know me, you know that my dirty ass loves bro-ing down more than I love most things, so I enjoyed having four guys around to harass and say disgusting things in the general direction of. Most memorally has to have been that ridiculous visit to M at Darkroom in which Josh and Rodrigo proceeded to confused the shit out of whichever Ruff Kid was DJing by shouting "PLAY HYPHY!" for a solid thirty minutes before deciding to simply get "hyphy" to whatever was on...including The Klaxons and MGMT. It was wildly amusing and it gave me an excuse to bust out my booty dance thats been in hiding since sometime in middle school (hey, Frog doesnt call it the International Porn Body for nothing...I can work this shit.) In case you are a subpar human being and do not know what "hyphy" is, it is very simply this:

Yes, you just kind of squat and thrust vigorously in a crowd of your nearest and dearest friends. Its a bay area thing and if I werent strangely in love with Tech N9ne and hadnt spent last summer in San Fran, I doubt Id know what it was either. Thankfully, I had an educational car ride all over the city with Mama Lisa that taught me quite a bit about this cultural phenom. At any rate, it was great to spend time with the boys. Josh, unlike most guys, doesnt mind that I think of the most foul repulsive sexual things to text him shamelessly, so I had a good time doing that, and I said it once - possibly whilst drunk - and ill say it again: if Ryan lived in NYC fulltime Id make him chill with me all the time, hes a good fucking guy and I cant wait til hes back in May for a whole month!

The trip back to Baltimore in which I purchased some antique mahogany furniture as well as a pretty sweet flatscreen and a bed for my new apartment is hardly worth mentioning. My parents go bonkers when they get to see me for more than a day at a time and madness ensues, so mostly there was some ridiculous arguments and a few delicious dinners. I will, however, have the most spectacular apartment youve ever seen as of April 12th, when I officially move in. Before that, however, Sharon Goldberg and Shanna Fisher are curating a gallery night in the empty rooms on April 8th. Addie and Alfie and a dude named Faro are showing alongside both Sharon and Shanna. There will be amazing photography, drawings, paintings, and graffiti as well as wine, so I suggest everyone stop by for a bit.

Since returning from Baltimore I've probably been a little bit lame. It was awesome to see Lisa M. and SaraBeth and Brynn as well as meeting the entirety of Lady Radiator and talking record sales with a boy I later found is called The Snake. However, the best thing in recent days, by far, has been the surprise D00D N00D I unexpectedly received at 3am from someone I never even thought to be the kind to take cellular snapshots of what appears to be an extremely veiny member. Apparently, he meant to send it to someone else as a joke which is all well and good but...that doesnt change the fact that I have a picture of his dick. He panicked and I assured him that I didnt know how to properly blackmail someone but Im not deleting that thing anytime soon. Anytime I do something embarassing from now until forever I simply have to click around in my phone and think: Hey, at least I didnt send a near-stranger a picture of my throbbing pink penis!

Still In Tact

Despite coming home last night at 4am and drunkenly slicing a series of oranges using the wrong side of the blade, I managed to salvage all my fingers. Last night, despite my initial reluctance to go out, wound up alright. The whole day had been kind of weird: woke up with my alarm alerting me that class was starting and somehow managed to get dressed and walk over ten blocks in under fifteen minutes (wouldve been faster but i had to wait for the elevator); realized i was still high in class and when the TA asked if i had anything to say my response was "Do I look like I have anything to say?"; spent more money at Oak because I have no self-restraint; laid around my room for a few hours before getting a haircut; Bart and Laurent came over for a bit and pretty much just hung out while Lisa and I got ready around them, but I was glad to say goodbye to Laurent because he was getting on a plane back to San Francisco just as I was arriving home this morning.

Three Pigs Humping

Yes, on my dress, are single (triple?) handedly keeping the economy going. If I could fucking focus I could write this paper and officially relax and maybe go over Kylene's or something involving being stoned. But all I want to do is parade around in the shit I spent all my money on yesterday and pray for eternal summer. For some reason I went out alone yesterday, so there was no one there to stop me from buying this Ground Zero tuxedo style t-dress with, literally, three pigs humping on it as well as a Gareth Pugh see-thru shirt/dress that Im going to have to learn to layer with. I also got a new pair of heels at Oak. All completely legitimate purchases, just not all that entirely necessary. Tomorrow I am finally getting a haircut from Jess Star and I hereby vow to allow her to change my bangs, get rid of my split ends, and maybe cut off a few unhealthy inches in hopes of an actual style that isnt so Samara a la The Ring. I will not, however, be parting with my two dredlocks just yet. I've grown to love them and all the gross, dirty things that they say about me - no matter how secretively - hidden in the back of my hair. Anyway, within the next few months, I will be contemplating the return of the summer pigtail, considering the fact that having black hair in the sun is about as practical as wearing a wool sweater. At any rate, its only Mid-March and im already dreaming about the days of Mid-June in my sunny new apartment, windows open, joint in mouth or hand or roach-clip, just sprawled on the couch. I move in in just under a month and I really couldnt be more excited. Originally there was a bit of anxiety about living alone but I trust that I've made it clear to everyone that they are 100% invited over 100% of the time, no matter what. I mean, unless Im getting laid. Unless you want to join? Kidding. Only room for one in my new tiny room, but the living room has plenty of space so feel free to invite yourself over.

I cant believe how big All Time Low has gotten. Technically, theyre not bad, I guess, but this song is just so unbelievably stupid. The lyrics dont make any sense and just sound like cut-and-paste Fall Out Boy...but I guess its not so hard to spoonfeed this to some high schoolers. Im just amused by the whole thing and the fact that Matt Flyzik had to latch on to some younger - yet equally stupid kids - to actually make something happen to himself in the Pop Punk Universe. Good for him, I guess. Working at Columbia has just really brought to my attention just how horribly the music industry is slipping. No one recognizes the best shit when it comes around and then when the stuff they passed up is selling thousands of records, everyone acts so surprised. Its sad but its also just so damn funny. There is no rhyme or reason to it all and thats just fine. If you are, however, interested in actual interesting music, check out Shock Cinema. I have such a crush on this girl and I vow to be friends with her at least by Fall. What? I'm Shy.

Shock Cinema's Art of Noir

Josh and Rodrigo and some other San Francisco boys will be in NYC from Saturday until the 21st, whenever that is, and that is bound to make for at least a few interesting stories about my Spring Break. Not to mention Bart, the SF Boys and I will be headed out to Sarina's party this Saturday to indulge in our Potheadedness, some Absinthe and 40ozs or more. Wish me luck on living to see Sunday!